prematurely grey

I think it’s safe to say that I’m in love with Joe Biden.

Joe Biden is so awesome, just reading what he said yesterday makes me want to tell all seven of my faithful readers about him. For example:

“John McCain says he wants to spend another $130 billion this year to give tax breaks to people whose income is over $250,000,” Biden explained. “Now look — these are patriotic Americans, they’re not bad guys… But ladies and gentlemen, we want to take that $130 billion and give it to people making under $150,000 as families, people who are making 40 and 50 and 60 and 80 and 100 thousand dollars who are struggling just to keep their kid in college, struggling just to stay in their home, struggling just to pay the bills.” [emphasis added]

But wait, there’s more!

He said this at the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. The second I saw, “Canton, Ohio” in the link from MSNBC’s First Read, well, you knew it was going to be good. But great? Come on, Joe. You’re shitting me. You were a halfback?

Fanfuckingtastic!

Some of you may have already heard about my new proactive strategy to help get Obama elected by pimping Joe Biden. Ladies (sorry, this isn’t directed to you gentlemen), Joe Biden is the kind of guy you totally would have slept with. Period. Paragraph.

Think I’m exaggerating? Try this on:

Before the event, Biden toured the Hall of Fame, broadly grinning as he walked around the various exhibits. He did get emotional at one, however — a booth displaying the Purple Heart of former Pittsburgh Steeler Rocky Bleier, a Vietnam war veteran. In 1972, Bleier had visited the hospital room where Biden’s sons, Beau and Hunter, were recovering from injuries sustained in the car crash that killed his first wife and infant daughter. Biden later told the crowd that Bleier was “one of my great heroes.” And he also said he had hoped to come to the hall under different circumstances.

“I was hoping to be doing this as an inductee,” he said. “When I realized I couldn’t do it, I decided I might as well run for vice president.”

OMG! He’s sensitive! He has a tragic history! He’s funny! He’s the hero in a Judy Blume novel!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new hero. The Familiar Stranger is here to stay! All My (Grand)Children is turning into an episode of Law and Order, anyway. Who gives a shit if creepy Todd will testify or not?